Middle of a hat-trick

The batsman was out on first ball. On the long walk back to the pavilion he had to pass the incoming batsman, a supercilious rival. 'Hard luck, old man,' smirked the newcomer. 'Yes. It's a shame I had to be right in the middle of a hat trick.

An American who knew nothing of the game had been taken to a few cricket matches by a friend and was now studying the end-of-season averages. Every now and then he came across an asterisk and the words: 'Signifies not out.' Finally, he turned to his friend and said: 'Why don't you get this guy Signifies to play for your side? He's never out!'

Back in the pavilion, the batsman was talking to a team mate. 'I can't understand it,' he said 'The ball hit my head and the wicket-keeper caught it, but the umpire gave me out. His friend looked sympathetic. 'Sometimes they go by sound.'

The cricket fan had dragged his wife and child along to the ground to watch the local side. He watched with interest, but they were plainly bored and shifted uncomfortably in their seats. The child brightened and turned to the mother. 'They just shouted 'Over', she said. 'I know.' replied her mother, wearily, 'but don't take any notice. It goes on and on and on.'

'I'm proud to say that in thirty years of playing cricket, I've never scored less than twenty five runs and never taken less than three wickets,' said George. 'I wish I could say that,' said Ted. Harry spoke up. 'Well, why don't you? George just did!'